What's Wrong With Me?
by Tails Luv-er
Summary: "What I'm feeling sure feels like attraction… This is just a phase… It's just a phase… I can't be gay, or even bisexual. I'm Catholic! I can't be… It's a huge sin…! But if it is, then why can't I control it? Ugh! This is all just so awkward and weird!" Based on a personal experience. Contains yaoi. Several one-sided Silver pairings. Don't like, don't read, don't flame.


_Hey, people! I know, I've got a lot of active stories right now, but... I wanted to try something truly different! I was inspired to do something like this after reading the story _Now What?_ by dragonmaster567. It's based off a personal experience, and it's basically what I went through as I discovered my sexuality. Of course, all the characters will be changed to Sonic characters, and I'm trying my best to match the personalities of me and my friends with the personalities of the Sonic characters, although that can be quite hard!_

_Now, this story takes place from when I was in seventh grade all the way to now (twelfth grade). As you can probably guess, I won't remember stuff as well from seventh grade, so a lot of the stuff is just filler for what I don't remember. However, I will skip large intervals of time, probably a year per chapter, until I get to eleventh grade, so... yeah. I know you're probably getting tired of reading this, so on with the story!_

* * *

What's Wrong With Me?

Chapter One: Just a Phase

Ah, middle school… Y'know, I loved elementary school, but boy, am I glad to be out of there! Well, now that I'm going to a school in a completely different area, I'm sure to make some actual friends… and maybe I'll be able to spot one or two good-looking ladies here as well! What? Don't look at me like that! I'm a preteen boy going through puberty! Of course I'm gonna think of women! What else besides video games does a boy my age think of? No answer? My point exactly.

I'm just kidding. I actually do think a lot about school, but hey, maybe if I get some friends this year, I'll be able to get my mind off school… Speaking of school, I look at my schedule. The homeroom is… somewhere in the basement. That's awesome. My first day here, and I already have to find my way around the basement. I walk down the hall and see a teacher, and I ask her where my classroom is, and she tells me to go down the stairs at the very end of the hall, and I do just that.

Thankfully, my classroom is one of the only two down there, and it just so happens that the one I walk into first is the one I'm supposed to go to. As soon as I sit in my seat, the bell rings, and the teacher… make that teachers, one male, one female… walk up and introduce themselves. After that, they begin to call roll. After several names are called, the female teacher finally calls my name. "Silver?"

"Here," I dully respond. Man, roll call really is as boring as they make it out to be in movies. Bueller… Bueller… Bueller… Ugh! How do people even survive this…? I'm tempted just to use my psychokinesis to mark down every name, because I guarantee everyone's here. After two grueling minutes, it's finally done. They start going over the handbook and how you have to do this and can't do that… I know that already; just get on with it! I can't believe we have to spend all day in here! This first day is gonna suck…

We go all over school rules and stupid stuff like that before we finally leave for lunch. We walk down to the lunch room in a straight line… I thought we were supposed to be done with stuff like that in middle school, but I guess not… After all, some of the kids in my class are really immature… Idiots…

We sit down at our assigned tables, and I sit near the people that don't seem as immature, but then, something catches my eye… Well, I shouldn't say something, but rather _someone_. A purple chameleon to be exact. What's so special about a purple chameleon? I mean, besides the fact that he's purple… Why am I so drawn to him? I'm not sure if "drawn" is the right word, though. I think "attracted" would be a better fit here… but… why the heck do I feel attracted to him? I'm a guy. He's a guy. It should stop right there… but why doesn't it?

I mean, he's pretty handsome, but that's only complimenting him. I'm not saying he's hot or cute or anything, because that would be totally disgusting, right? But he is pretty cute… No, I did not just say that. I didn't. I couldn't have. I can't. But it's true… But it's not! It's not, it's not, it's not! Gosh, why the heck am I acting like this?! Just don't look at him… It's so hard, though. Why on Mobius is it hard? Ugh! This is so confusing! I'm not gay. No. I'm not about to choose to be like that. God condemns homosexual relationships, and I can't sin like that. I don't wanna go to Hell.

I spend the rest of lunch trying my hardest to focus on something, _anything_, but him. I blame it on hormones. Yeah, hormones. That's why I feel so attracted to him. It's just puberty. We go back to the classroom, and thank goodness that I don't have to force myself to quit staring now. We do a lot of boring stuff once again, and I'm surprised I make it through the day without screaming my lungs out in boredom.

I take the bus back home, and things are very uneventful there. My parents ask me how school was today, and, as always, I reply, "Good." And then, they begin to pester me with questions. I decide to answer all of them and tell them what happened on my first day. I leave out any mention of the purple chameleon, though. I don't want my parents yelling at me and saying that I'm sinning for being attracted to him… Am I sinning, though? No, it's just my hormones.

I go into my room and play some games. We eat dinner. I go back in and play some more games, and then I go to bed. I don't know why, but I can't get my mind off that darn purple chameleon! Curse puberty! Guess I might as well get some sleep, though…

* * *

It's been two days since I saw him… The purple chameleon… Yesterday, I went through my A-day schedule and didn't see him at all, which was good for my already racing thoughts. Today might be a different story, though, as I'm going through my B-day schedule today. The first class I have is Tech and Electronics, and it's in my homeroom classroom. How pleasant! That's not sarcasm, either. I like it down there. It's nice and cozy.

The teacher, which is only the male one this time, starts calling names out again. Obviously, they're different names than in my homeroom class, but still… "Charmy," he calls.

"Here!" replies a small bee in the corner, and that reply is a lot more energetic than I would've expected it to be for roll call. Several names are called before he finally reaches my name.

"And Silver," he says.

"Here…" I respond, and with that, class goes on. We don't really do much. He just shows us how to log onto the computers, and after that, he just lets us have freetime. I have to just sit for a whole hour and a half before we finally get released to go to our B4 class. Mine is Honors Special Projects, and it's on the first floor, and what do ya know, it's right above where my B2 class was.

I walk in there, and much to my dismay, _he's_ there. The purple chameleon. And even more to my dismay, the only open seat is by him. If I swore, I would probably do it right now. Instead, I just mumble, "Shoot," under my breath as I sit down next to him. I don't think he's noticed me yet, and if he has, he's not showing it.

After a few seconds, he turns toward me and holds out his hand. "Hey, I'm Espio. What's your name?" Espio, huh? It's a fitting name.

I try my best not to blush as I grasp his hand and shake it. "My name's Silver."

We release each other's hands, and he replies, "Well, it's nice to meet you, Silver." And he smiles at me.

I smile back while trying my hardest not to flush. "Nice to meet you, too, Espio."

He turns his attention back to the front of the classroom. Oh, gosh, that was too close! My raging hormones almost got the best of me back there! Are they really hormones, though? Yeah, of course they're hormones, because I'm not gay!

The bell rings, and the teacher goes up and introduces herself and once again goes through roll call… Ugh… How boring can the beginning of a class get? After she's done doing that, I try my best to pay attention to her, but I can't. All I can really focus on is Espio. Curse him! Gosh darn it, Silver, get ahold of yourself! You don't seriously think he's hot, do you…? Do I? I do… don't I…? Oh, man, that's just not cool! There's no way on Mobius I'm gay! I'm not going to Hell!

But what I'm feeling sure feels like attraction… This is just a phase… It's just a phase… I can't be gay, or even bisexual. I'm Catholic! I can't be… It's a huge sin…! But if it is, then why can't I control it? Ugh! This is all just so awkward and weird! I can't focus on this right now, though… I have to focus on class. I bring myself back to reality and focus on what the teacher is saying, but it's nothing important.

Finally, we get released to go to our B6 class. Science up on the second floor is mine. I go up there and it turns out that that bee from earlier before, Charmy, is in that class as well. I look up at the seating chart, and I see that I'm assigned to sit next to him. Unlike in Tech, though, he has his nose in a book right now, so I don't think he really notices me when I sit down.

Unlike Espio, he doesn't introduce himself. He just keeps reading his book, and I'm not about to introduce myself, because I'm terrible at that stuff; I'm shyer than heck. I just sit there until the bell rings, signaling for another hour and a half of introductory stuff. At least I have second lunch for this class, meaning we get a break in the middle of the block, and that's always good.

Y'know, Charmy's kinda cute… Wait, I did not just think that! Gosh darn it! What's wrong with me?! I need to keep my mind off that stuff! I pull out the book I have with me and try to get sucked into it, but it's not working! Rrgh! I look around the room, and my eyes finally fall on someone who takes my mind off Charmy. She's a white bat in the very corner of the room. I think Rouge is her name. She's pretty… Y'see! If I were gay, I wouldn't be able to think that, at least not in the way I am!

With that, I'm finally able to focus up front, and I have to try my hardest not to look at Charmy again, lest I start thinking about that again. And I just used the word "lest"… How much of a geek am I? Well, anyway, the class goes on, and halfway through, we get released from class to go to second lunch, which basically splits the class into two parts.

When I'm down there, since there's really no one else that I wanna sit by, I just sit by Charmy. We don't talk, though… It's so hard not to focus on him! Please, God, tell me what's wrong with me! I don't wanna go to Hell for thinking this stuff! Eventually we go back to class, and, to say the least, I'm so glad when class is over forty-five minutes later!

I quickly walk down to my next class, Band. It's rather uneventful… No one in there catches my attention, thank goodness…

Soon enough, the day is over, and I head back home again, and my parents, of course, ask how my day was. I tell them the basic stuff… Stuff goes as normal after that until just before bedtime, when I'm brushing my teeth… I start to think of Espio again… I spit the toothpaste out of my mouth and look at myself in the mirror before finally asking myself, "I'm not gay, am I?"

Utterly horrified by the answer I might get from myself, I almost literally rush into my room and start crying. "I can't be gay… I can't be gay…" I keep telling myself that over and over till I finally fall asleep…

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_So, what did you all think? I know, it is very different from my usual stuff. Unfortunately, there won't be any cute yaoi in here, because I have yet to have a boyfriend even_ _once. _^_^'_ As I said up in the beginning note, the pairings are all one-sided. Well, I hope you're looking forward to more! Farewell!_

-Tails Luv-er


End file.
